Friday, May 29th, 2009
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3:53 pm - Friday
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it’s been over 6 months. Time to start in a band. Run away. Run far away. And never return.
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make some muffins
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Monday, November 10th, 2008
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1:20 am
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I brought it up on Sunday. Now it's Monday by 1 hour and 20 minutes.
somethings changed. I've finished my paintings.
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make some muffins
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Thursday, November 6th, 2008
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9:54 pm
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two posts within a week of each other is a sure sign that my head is racing but i'm restraining from doing something rash.
Can you love something enough to leave it? yes.
Are you leaving to make it easier? yes.
Following this thought process are you just being lazy about it? yes.
So what are you worried about?
what happened to the yes/no questions?
Are there any yes/no questions left in the world? Yes.
Phew, the world is one again.
I'll talk about it on sunday monday wednesday in two weeks when all my exams are out of the way and when i'm thinking straight.
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3 muffin break s ♡ make some muffins
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Sunday, November 2nd, 2008
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12:06 am - internal changes at the workplace brought about by external factors
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auto-saved draft:
"I lost what i wrote the other day. But that is not unusual. Usually I am the one that falls asleep on the keyboard only to wake up and see that i've drooled over the "L" and had my right ear resting on the "backspace" button.
I don't mind that its gone. Mainly because i know the grammar was probably extremely bad, and that i was probably using a whole heap of fancy words to make my vocab appear the size of, well, something very big."
I don't really drink anymore. i don't really think anymore. the former should be more important. but screw it, its the latter i care about.
one day i'm going to leave this username and password in some convenient place for someone to pick up. that or i'll delete it all. so that i can finally realise that it is just a sulking account of my highschool life mixed with some post-highschool confessions. And that the day i move on from being that sulking person will be the day i quit Macquarie Bank to join an electro band and make income by tutoring students in maths and physics.
dont get me wrong. i enjoy my life. i enjoy it as much as the wicked witch wants to shove hansel and gretel into the oven and eat them.
alcohol does have a gender.
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make some muffins
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Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
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9:28 pm
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it's not being touched by God. It might feel like it but don't turn all religious on me. As beautiful as everything seems in those moments don't loose track of reality.
By all means keep up the awesome sky gazing, i really truly understand where you are coming from, but at the end of the day, when other people don't see it in the same way that we see it, it will frustrate you that you can't share the experience.
I used to love this feeling, but to appreciate the small things is to escape from social norms. When you go to interact with other people everyone these days wants big and grand forms of beauty. It's very hard to interact on a level of appreciating small things. It's your own description and no-one can argue that.
Put in an example; in all honesty people think you weird when you'd prefer to spend 2 hours talking about the colour of the sky rather than someones latest opinion of the US election. The truth is we are born with more intelligence to merely talk about 'the sky'. We've been given the ability to have complex conversations about society and the world. If we focus on the small things it's almost as if we're being selfish to the world of all the things history has taught us in terms of intellectual development.
We didn't sit through 12 years of schooling to be able to loose ourselves in someones smile. We sat through 12 years of schooling to analyse the smile, what it means, to place it in a social context, and to come to the conclusion that they are probably smiling because they think barac obama is only going to win the election because he is black, and incredibly good looking. We can then tell the story of the person smiling to someone else. But we don't say 'i saw this person smiling today' we elaborate to make it into a story that relates to something more substantial.
If people let me i would spend hours on end talking about all the facial expressions that i passed through the street today. But people don't share my fascination with that. And in order to talk to people i find myself talking to people about what THEY want to talk about. Its a toss up between seeing the enthusiasm in people talking about what they find interesting, or trying to express a beautiful moment you experienced. Chances are it is easier to listen, than to express the beauty of a smile, to someone who fails to see it without prompting.
You're lucky you can see and appreciate these things. But don't expect others to feel the same way or it may disappoint you. I've been told there is a certain drug (no i have not and don't expect myself to try it) that does this to people. That lets them concentrate on the smallest things in life. They say that when it wears off after a few hours everything around them seems so much of a rush, and 'some' people say that they start to dislike what is in the 'real world'.
In a way this is a kind of scary thought. That there is a drug to make you feel like this. It kind of makes the focus of 'appreciating the small things' a state of mind that you can loose yourself in.
Just be wary of this. Try not to loose yourself in the beauty of 'the world' or you may as you say 'breakdown and cry under its power'.
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make some muffins
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Thursday, June 26th, 2008
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10:09 pm - thursday
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Saturday, April 19th, 2008
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11:53 pm
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lets pack last week away in a box. the end.
unless that's not what someone wants...
haha i shouldn't be laughing, but i am
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make some muffins
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Tuesday, November 6th, 2007
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9:17 pm - tuesday
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after i post this i am going to sleep.
i've finished exams and am now stuck at home thinking of the many places this summer that i can wear my pretty yellow dress which i bought just because it was yellow and yellow makes me happy.
haha, its funny that you can actually put a price on sleep.
but work looks so inviting when travel guides arrive in the mail.
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1 muffin break ♡ make some muffins
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Wednesday, September 19th, 2007
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5:13 pm - wednesday
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haha. oh livejounral haven't visited you in too long. facebook has taken over. apologies
this weather is fantastic and i should probably go to work on saturday instead of canceling it so i can sleep in...
yay to spending money and talks about being sneaky, and finding drunken posts that i forgot i had written. everything just makes upcoming exams and essays seem so insignificant.
anyone up for excessive trips to the beach this spring/summer?
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1 muffin break ♡ make some muffins
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Saturday, August 25th, 2007
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1:05 am
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Thursday, June 14th, 2007
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11:10 am - thursday
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either facebook has taken over my internet life, or i now have a life!
hmm.. yeah... it's the facebook option
my phone randomly beeped last night and then i saw the date and thought 'this date looks familiar' and went back to sleep. but it was too cold to sleep and i knew there was something important about today. so i got up to check my uni diary incase anything was due. but it wasn't so i tried sleeping again. but it was cold. so i thought *shock horror* and yeah, it was only leans bday. pfffffttt. so happy bday lean.
+ went trapezing. scored a hungover goal in hockey. got more classes. ate good food. watched silly movies. bought clothes. started walking to uni! learnt when to keep my mouth shut and when not to. went dancing. played with my new love, steinberg, garrrrh! talk about easy to manage programs its like 'piano here drums there TRUMPETS WHERES THE BEATER BAG' all over again.
- got too sick. became too lazy. forgot too much. cancelled too many classes. left [and still leaving] things till the last minute. dropped my guard. just ate all my dads prinlges.
had the best dream the other night. as in totally bizzare. good bizarre. mad and satu we were so close to meeting up with you and were even kinda heading in the direction of the cross until i figured i really needed to pee. AND MACCAS DIDNT HAVE A TOILET. ended up going all the way to townhall and seeing the bus pull in [last for the night] but there were quite a few rowdy drunken people in the line that would mean the bus would stay there for at least 5 mins so i went to pee... but you know how the toilets at the QVB have a million and one sliding doors so you never now where the exit is? i got lost! and i didn't have my phone on me. and i was trying every door to see if it was the exit and kinda forgot about the bus because it was kinda fun. so eventually i find the exit and see line to have only two people left in it. anyway, it was a double sized bus. haha. i found this hilarious. but its not sounding too funny right now. so i will stop. its too hard to meet in the city. lazer tag day?!?! where has this disappeared to?!
current mood:  cold
current music: decoder ring
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1 muffin break ♡ make some muffins
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Wednesday, April 18th, 2007
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1:32 am - tuesday
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could not have opened better than with can't stop
suck my kiss to give it away to by the way to incy-wincy spider.
to think i wanted to give this up for rest and recovery time.
i don't care if i can't talk in my presentation tomorrow.
mad nearly had me convinced that "trumpet faces" are just as significant as "guitar faces".
and everything just seemed right,
even if it was the coffee and codrols talking.
sometimes things just happen. if you can't forget it, it can at least be forgiven.
and silence is a nice time to pretend.
current mood:  savoring the moment
current music: warning sign
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1 muffin break ♡ make some muffins
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Monday, March 19th, 2007
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1:06 am - sunday
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never watch "Requiem for a Dream" for the first time, when you are not in the greatest of moods.
it has strange unexplainable side effects.
i finally deleted all those sentimental messages in my phone inbox... including one from lean in 2004 telling me she was bored in modern history. i've also changed unwanted phone numbers to weird-arsed names so that when i am drunk and disorderly i don't remember what i saved their number under and thus won't be able to call them.
so that is ok.
i have money for reasons that i shouldn't,
but so do many people
so that is ok.
i made 3 children cry today
i didn't apologize to their parents. the children deserved it.
so that is ok.
i could write this next thing,
but it sounds corny and isn't something that needs to be written for me to remember
so that is ok.
i never know how to respond to "wassup?"
but i at least don't use the line "the sky"
so that is ok.
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...........................................
i like ikea.
i also like freedom furniture.
think outside the square you live in.
current mood: 91206315
current music: augie march
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8 muffin break s ♡ make some muffins
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Thursday, January 18th, 2007
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11:01 pm
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bondi
coogee
narrabeen
freshwater
4 consecutive days of sand-filled-cars and beach-hair and sunscreen and wondering why i've learnt the backstreets of sydney instead of going out to discover the world.
( happy new year )
current music: scissor sisters
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7 muffin break s ♡ make some muffins
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Tuesday, December 12th, 2006
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1:37 pm
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you are freaking hilarious my firend
remeber that you are a bastard child and that you don't deserve anyhtign more
mever move
never think
never dream and the whorld will love you
at least uni people will dissolusionally love you
as will stupid srazy peple
but not in the way that you first thought possible
some lyrics of inappropriate language
and something or other abotu hating the owlr and how the guy is never worth tha pain
only for the family
marry me music and be my boyfiredn
current mood:  giggly
current music: pav talking tooo much
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2 muffin break s ♡ make some muffins
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Friday, December 8th, 2006
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4:50 pm - friday
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i have never had so many people applaude my singing before. i swear i would have recieved a real standing ovation had the bus not alreayd been packed with too many standing people
i've got a bus. i've got a big back shiny bus was inspired by the shitty driver who stopped up for a good 30mins whilst talking to the cops and trying to kick people off the bus for banging on the door when the bus was at a red light and demanding that they be let on. seeing as this was the last bus home towards castle hill i see it as only fair that the people behind us began a massive "what about me, it isn't fair, i've had enough now i want my share" along with the obvious "start the fucking bus".
sophi i saw you there! finally! hahaha. yayyyyyy.
and dave saved me from being hit by a taxi.
the lady on the bus told me to organise a christmas party and i got excited. like big kev. but even more.
things really don't live up to expectations the second time around.
and then theres the first time round moments
that you can either be smart and avoid
or spoil in a stupid moment
or have that perfect moment only to be ruined by something/someone else
but nothing is perfect
and i still thought
and it's not the same
just like brazil. not like Mr M.
but there was that strange feeling.
perhaps that was just me remembering i'd eaten chocolate fondue, chicken, steak, octopus, pasta and nachos and sculled a finger of beer just to prove to kieren [whos name i changed in my phone to 'special k' and took me far too long to find it and message him that i am witty and that his pick up lines are seedy and phone is gh3y] and pete uni/strokes that i am their third wheel. but for once this is a good thrid wheel. perhaps its more like a fourth, due to their patting friend. or a 5th or 6th due to the girls not being there. but yes. the beer was drunk. a whole centimeter... centimetre? american? myeah. as long as its not bloody canadian.
i refused free alcohol. so was this because i am mature and know my limit? or that quality time is better spent not smashed off your face? whatever happens, if tonight was a "pick a path" book, i would have closed it and taken a different path that would have... no. i take that back. they all lived happily ever after for the night.
current music: shannon noll
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make some muffins
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Thursday, October 19th, 2006
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5:06 am - thursday
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for goodness sake! i should be nursing a hangover by now, not trying to make my printer work!
to mark this momentous occasion, what better to do than LJ post. tonight/today has been the first all-nighter i have EVER pulled in relation to study. it feels strange to think i'm about to go to sleep for an hour in order to do more study and it already looks like 9am outside.... bloody hell. the kookaburras have just started
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1 muffin break ♡ make some muffins
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Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
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8:32 pm - tuesday
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all i needed
was some sleep
to see that you are not in my dreams
that the snooze button
is my final, broken
lust/envy relationship of musical motivation
all i needed
was colour,
to see that we are black and white
and that nothing can move beyond a postmodern pastiche
of red and blue
attempting to make green
all i needed
was a game of Mahjong to teach me;
"pong" can be a positive remark
patience is a virtue
and that i don't function to play without cheating
in order to read something you have to interprut a sentence out loud [internally at least] therefore; the faster you can naturally talk, the faster you can apparently revise things to yourself [ie through speed reading] increasing your short term memory. this made sense when i read it, but unfortunatly is confusing me right now. so technically, in order to cram, i should just practice socialising so that i can increase my words per min, then increasing my short term cramming memory. yes? no. dang to throwing easy marks down the drain.
current mood:  look at that lethargic blob go
current music: jebediah
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make some muffins
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Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006
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12:06 am - monday
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Thursday, September 21st, 2006
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11:40 pm - thursday
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All my essays come back saying... lacks structure. Maybe i should stop with the LJ posting, and get rid of the convinience of keeping extra ideas under linked pages. two 'of's that i don't know how to get rid of... haha. look. another of! and to think, i want to tutor english.
i got out of bed and put on the clothes that were on the back of my chair. of course this is the day i run into pretty people with comments from "you look tired... you seem stressed" to "what is your excuse for not going out". should have gone to play drunken ping pong... SHOULD have gone. now i am busy procrastinating from an exam that i really do deserve to fail. i blame YOU *points to evil lady* and secondly i blame YOU *points to PSYCH that manages to screw everything up* and thirdly i blame YOU *points to printer* and fourthly i blame YOU *points to person who thought i had a pet kangaroo named hopper* but you are hilarious, so i will un-blame you now.
with a PSYCH lecture cancelled due to a firealarm that couldn't be stoppped until the brigade got there [someone took photos of the truck when it arrived. they looked strange] headed over to watch people drink beer whilst teaching a fellow napolean dynamite fan how to aquire "paper crane making" skills as well as "num chuck" skills [yes he actually owns numb chucks]. conclusion being that i have no "teaching people how to make paper crane" skills, and he has excellent "crap paper crane making" skills.
satu is my hero because she writes what i can't say. i would love to tell her that the feeling of compulsion to move will go away. but it won't. next time you come over, bring a big card board box and i promise we will make an aeroplane, like they do on play-school, and pretend to fly away to a place of hot hot people [mmm george clooney... he's so perfect], beautiful beaches and playdough. who here doesn't love playdough. need sleep, am not prepared. i tried to allot shares but ended up accounting for a mixture between a debenture and depreciation expense. YUM.
current mood:  really scared.
current music: the cure
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1 muffin break ♡ make some muffins
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